What’s up! Oh man, I can’t believe you want to talk to me! Cool, ok so a few quick points so you can ensure that I wont ignore you.
1) No mention of Rihanna or Nickelback. Those so called “artists” are dead to me!
2) I promise not to share your email address or anything like that, but you have to promise not to send me spam, or those really long chain emails about how if you talk to anyone at a Walmart, gas station or post office you will get got by some odorless, tasteless magic drug.
3) Please be kind. If that’s not your thing, I will not hesitate to set it off! Just kidding… but really.